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NO BROWSING™ · RUDE T-SHIRTS
CHRISTMAS
For people who love Christmas from across the room. The shirt does the small talk. You stay near the snacks.
Admit One: Last-Minute Panic
$24.95
All I Want: Your Card Details
$24.95
Attendance: Forced
$24.95
Bah. Humbug. Invoice Enclosed
$24.95
Black Friday Survivor
$24.95
Bought It With Your Card
$24.95
Christmas Dinner: Order Pizza
$24.95
Christmas Is Cancelled
$24.95
Christmas Spirit: Espresso
$24.95
Christmas: Debt 100%
$24.95
Closed for the Season
$24.95
Dear Santa, Define 'Good'
$24.95
Deck the Halls, Not the Family
$24.95
Do Not Disturb Until January
$24.95
Don't Browse My List. Buy It.
$24.95
Family Dinner Survival Blend
$24.95
From the Quiet One
$24.95
From: Me, To: Me
$24.95
Game Over. See You Next Xmas
$24.95
Good Boy. Bad Decisions.
$24.95
Good Boy. Unlike You.
$24.95
Happy Holidays. Go Home.
$24.95
Ho Ho No
$24.95
Holiday Spirit Not Found
$24.95
24 of 71
Six piles. One of them is about you.
Gifts & Secret Santa
The $20 limit, honored to the cent.13 shirtsFamily & dinner
For hour three of the dinner.17 shirtsSanta & elves
The North Pole staff, off the record.13 shirtsOffice party
Optional, until they took a register.7 shirtsBroke Christmas
The balance has seen your list.9 shirtsDo not disturb
Went quiet on the 20th. Staying that way.18 shirts
What a funny Christmas shirt actually says
Most Christmas shirts are a reindeer in sunglasses and a pun about being lit. This shelf is the rest of the season. The dinner that runs three hours past the point of no return. The Secret Santa with a $20 limit that somebody always reads as a suggestion. The office party that was optional until they took a register. I CHECKED THE LIST. YOU’RE NOT ON IT. is Santa’s admin, done properly. DECK THE HALLS. NOT THE FAMILY. is advice. DO NOT DISTURB UNTIL JANUARY. is an out-of-office with a return date.
Nobody here hates Christmas. Everybody here has sat through the second hour of a family dinner. Wear one to the table and find out who else has.
Find yours faster
The piles above split the shelf by where the shirt is going. Family & dinner is for the table and everyone sitting at it. Gifts & Secret Santa is for the exchange, including the shirts that are openly about the exchange. Santa & elves is the North Pole staff, off the record. Office party is for the one with the lanyard. Broke Christmas is for the bank balance in the last week of December. Do not disturb is for the person who went quiet on the 20th and plans to stay that way.
A shirt can sit in more than one pile. Most of them have earned it.
Who wears a rude Christmas shirt
The cousin who arrives late and leaves early with a plate. The one who hosts every year and would like that noted. The colleague who has typed “happy holidays!” into forty emails and meant none of them. And whoever you drew in Secret Santa, if you know them well enough to know which line is theirs.
A rude shirt is a safe gift for the same reason it’s a funny one: it roasts the season, not the person opening it. They get to be in on it. If the exchange is at work, Funny Christmas Gifts for Coworkers sorts the shelf by how much HR each shirt survives.
Order by December 10 for US Christmas delivery
US orders usually arrive in about 5 to 10 business days, so December 10 is our order-by date for delivery before the 25th. The EU, UK and Canada usually take about 6 to 12, which makes it December 8 there. Both are our estimates from the usual windows, not a carrier promise, and carriers slow down in December. If the party is on the 18th, count back from the 18th. Shipping is free on every order, and the shipping page has the full windows.
Sizes run XS to 5XL on a standard unisex fit: a 38 to 41 inch chest is an M, 42 to 45 is an L, 46 to 49 is an XL. The size guide on every product page has the laid-flat width and length in inches and centimetres. Every shirt is made after you order it, so it can’t come back for a change of mind or a wrong size, including the size you guessed for your uncle. If it arrives damaged, defective or wrong, email support within 30 days of delivery and it’s replaced or refunded, free. The full rules are on the returns page.
Questions people ask
When should I order to get it by Christmas?
By December 10 for the US, by December 8 for the EU, UK and Canada. That’s our estimate from the usual 5-to-10 and 6-to-12 business-day windows, not a carrier guarantee. Earlier is safer, and the date of the party matters more than the 25th.
Can I send the shirt straight to the person I’m buying for?
Yes. Put their address in at checkout and the shirt goes to them. The confirmation and tracking emails come to you, so the surprise holds.
Is a rude Christmas shirt OK for the office party?
Some are. Office party and Gifts & Secret Santa roast the party and the exchange, not anyone at them, and land in most buildings. The family dinner ones are for the family dinner. Read the room you’re actually going to.
What size should I get for someone else?
Check the tag on a tee they already wear and go with that letter; ours is a standard unisex fit. Between sizes, go up. A roomy tee gets worn on Boxing Day. A tight one gets regifted.