Funny Christmas Gifts for Coworkers: Rude Tees

Tier one survives any HR: IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME TO LEAVE ME ALONE (a carol, technically), OFF THE CLOCK, QUICK QUESTION., NOT OUR PRIORITY, LEFT THE HOUSE FOR THIS, I STILL WANT THE MONEY and INSUFFICIENT FUNDS. These are jokes about the job, and every job has them. Nobody is named, nobody is insulted, and the manager will quietly want one.

Tier two depends on your HR: ACT YOUR WAGE. I AM. and YOUR URGENCY SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM. are true and slightly too true. BE WORSE has a small smiling demon correcting the BE KIND poster. SHUT UP. CHECK OUT. is for the reception desk and anyone who has smiled at a stranger for money. Give them for the Christmas drinks, not the client meeting.

Tier three is the office-party set. THE CAR RIDE HOME is two shirts for the couple who are delightful guests until the doors shut: PUBLICLY SUPPORTIVE on one, THE DEBRIEF on the other, each in its own size and colour. If you drew one half of a couple, this is the gift that covers both and makes you look organised.

Most office exchanges cap at $20, $25 or $30. A tee here is $24.95 at sizes XS to XL. 2XL is $27.95, 3XL is $29.95, and 4XL and 5XL run a little higher again; the size chip shows the exact price before you add it, so nothing moves at the pay screen. None of the tees on this page is two-sided, so the maths stays simple. Shipping is free on every order, so there is no delivery charge waiting at checkout.

Over the cap? The set is $41.95, which is two gifts. Split it with whoever drew the other half of the couple.

US orders usually arrive in about 5 to 10 business days. Ten business days back from December 24 is December 10, so that’s our order-by date for the US. The EU, UK and Canada usually take about 6 to 12 business days, which makes December 8 the date there. Both are our estimate from the delivery windows we see all year, not a carrier guarantee: carriers slow down in December, and we’ll tighten these dates when the holiday cutoffs are published. If the exchange is on the 18th, count back from the 18th instead and order earlier. The shipping page has the full windows.

Every shirt is made after you order it, which is why the window is days and not hours. It’s also why it arrives in their size and not in whatever was left on a shelf.

For the Christmas do: same tees, same rules. NOT OUR PRIORITY for the colleague on the customer-service rota, QUICK QUESTION. for the one who appears at your desk at 4:55, OFF THE CLOCK for the one whose out-of-office goes on at lunchtime. Prices show in US dollars, delivery to the UK is free and usually takes about 6 to 12 business days, and nothing on this page names a person or a company, so it survives the office, the pub, and the photo someone posts on Monday.

Ours is a standard unisex fit, so the letter on a tee they already wear is the letter to buy. If you’ve never seen them in one, ask the person who sits next to them, or go by chest: 38 to 41 inches is an M, 42 to 45 is an L, 46 to 49 is an XL, 50 to 53 is a 2XL. Between sizes, go up. We can’t exchange a wrong size, because each shirt is made after you order it, so this is the one minute not to skip. If it arrives damaged, defective or wrong, email support within 30 days of delivery and it’s replaced or refunded, free; the returns page has the terms.