GYM

Every gym has a wall of posters telling you to be your best self at six in the morning. This shelf is the other wall. The shirts here say the things you think between sets: that the music is too loud, that the man by the dumbbells is not using them, that rest day was yesterday and also today. A good gym shirt does not cheer you on. It agrees with you.

Nothing on this shelf is about a body. The jokes are about the behaviour: the two-hour session that was forty minutes of phone, the superset of “one more” and “fine, one more,” the water bottle that costs more than the membership. Everyone in the building recognises it, which is the point of wearing it there.

A pump cover is the oversized shirt you lift in and take off for the one set you want seen. Ours are cut for that: a standard unisex tee, roomy from XL up, in a cotton that drapes instead of clinging. Wear it big. The joke on the front reads better on a loose shirt anyway, because it looks like you did not try.

They go to people who train alone and like it. People who have a programme and would rather not explain it. The friend who texts a screenshot of a lift at 7am and expects a reply. If you are buying one as a gift, pick the behaviour you have personally witnessed; a gym shirt that describes someone exactly gets worn until it falls apart.

Decide whether it lifts or it lounges. For training, go one size up from your street size so it layers over whatever you actually lift in and comes off easily. For wearing to the shop afterwards, your normal size. Sizes run XS to 5XL on a standard unisex fit: a 38 to 41 inch chest is an M, 42 to 45 is an L, 46 to 49 is an XL. The size guide on every product page has the laid-flat width and length in inches and centimetres.

Then pick the colour by where you train. A dark shirt hides chalk and the floor of a commercial gym. A light one shows the line from across the room, which is sometimes the whole plan. Each design comes in a dark set or a light set, so both are usually there.

Wash cold, inside out, and skip the dryer if you want the line crisp for years. The shirts are made after you order, so allow about 5 to 10 business days to the US and 6 to 12 to the EU, UK and Canada; the shipping page has the current windows. Shipping is free on every order.

If it arrives damaged, defective or wrong, tell us within 30 days and we replace or refund it, free. Wrong size or changed your mind is on you, and the returns page says where the law says otherwise. Check the size guide before you buy the big one; the big one is usually right.