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White t-shirt with the Act Your Wage. I Am. design, front, on model

Act Your Wage. I Am.

Going above and beyond killed the last guy.

ACT YOUR WAGE. I AM. sits above a lanyard and an employee ID badge. The photo on the badge is a skeleton in a shirt and tie, which tells you how things went for the last person who gave a hundred and ten percent.

The job description grows a line every quarter. The salary has stayed loyal to the number from the interview. This shirt is the laminated, regulation-issue reply.

It's a funny gift for the coworker who has been "stepping up" for two years running, and for the friend doing three jobs on one title. Or it's for you, on the day you stop answering emails at ten at night. Wear it to the all-hands. Wear it to the review. It doesn't argue with anyone. It just shows what happens to people who go above and beyond.

$25.95

Color

White

Size

Saving is just buying, later. And later never comes, does it.

WHAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY WEARING

Cotton
100% Airlume combed cotton. The soft, smooth kind. Nothing scratchy sawing at you all day. The heathers blend in a little polyester — that flecked look doesn’t happen on its own.
Weight
Light, around 4.2 oz. An everyday tee you forget you’re wearing, not a stiff box with sleeves.
Fit
True to size. Modern unisex cut. Not baggy, not slim, no drama.
Built
Side-seamed so it keeps its shape, pre-shrunk, and a tear-away tag. Nothing itching the back of your neck.
The feel
The design lives in the fabric, not stuck on top of it. Soft the second you put it on, still soft after the tenth wash. No stiff plastic patch cracking and peeling off like the cheap stuff. Yours, and it stays that way.

WHEN IT SHOWS UP (SOONER IF YOU’D COMMIT)

USA
About a week. Two if it’s busy. Quick, for something worth the wait.
Canada
About 1–2 weeks. Made in Canada. No customs, no border fees, nobody knocking for money.
Europe
About 1–2 weeks. Made in the EU, so no customs and no surprise fees.
Everywhere else
About 2–4 weeks. Customs does what customs wants. So do you, apparently, standing here.
Shipping
Free. Everywhere. Don’t make it weird.

Estimates, not promises. The truck answers to no one. Full terms if you’re the reading type: Shipping & delivery.

Also in: Funny Christmas Gifts for Coworkers

YOU'LL PROBABLY IGNORE THESE TOO.

People who stalled on this stalled on these. Add them to the cart. Abandon them together.