Account 0 (embarrassing.)

NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT •

Black hoodie with the Patch Notes v2.0 design, photo 1 of 6

Patch Notes v2.0

The update nobody asked for.

A terminal-style changelog on the back of a hoodie: PATCH NOTES v2.0 in red, then REMOVED: YOUR OPINION., FIXED: NOTHING. and KNOWN ISSUE: YOU. For anyone whose updates only make things worse for everybody else. The known issue has been reported. Repeatedly.

$41.95

Color

Black

Size

Get it right the first time

Don’t guess. Go find a hoodie you already like the fit of and measure that one.

Size chart: hoodie measurements, in inches
Size	Lengthinches	Widthinches	Sleeve lengthinches
S	27″	20″	33.5″
M	28″	22″	34.5″
L	29″	24″	35.5″
XL	30″	26″	36.5″
2XL	31″	28″	37.5″
3XL	32″	30″	38.5″
4XL	33″	32″	39.5″
5XL	34″	34″	40.5″

How to measure. These are the hoodie itself, laid flat. Lay one that already fits on a table, measure the same spots, and compare.

Free shipping. Everywhere.
·
Made to order, just for you
·
Damaged or wrong? We fix it free.
·
Checkout's locked down

Saving is just buying, later. And later never comes, does it.

WHAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY WEARING

Fabric: 50% cotton, 50% polyester, pre-shrunk. Air-jet spun yarn, so it’s soft and pills less. Heather Sport Dark Navy runs 40% cotton, 60% polyester.
Weight: 8 oz. A proper hoodie, not a t-shirt with a hood stapled on.
Fit: Unisex cut.
Built: Double-lined hood with a matching drawcord, front pouch pocket, rib-knit cuffs and waistband with a little stretch.
The feel: The design lives in the fabric, not stuck on top of it. Soft the second you put it on, still soft after the tenth wash. No stiff plastic patch cracking and peeling off like the cheap stuff. Yours, and it stays that way.

WHEN IT SHOWS UP (SOONER IF YOU’D COMMIT)

USA: About a week. Two if it’s busy. Quick, for something worth the wait.
Canada: About 1–2 weeks. Made in Canada. No customs, no border fees, nobody knocking for money.
Europe: About 1–2 weeks. Made in the EU, so no customs and no surprise fees.
Everywhere else: About 2–4 weeks. Customs does what customs wants. So do you, apparently, standing here.
Shipping: Free. Everywhere. Don’t make it weird.

Estimates, not promises. The truck answers to no one. Full terms if you’re the reading type: Shipping & delivery.

YOU'LL PROBABLY IGNORE THESE TOO.

People who stalled on this stalled on these. Add them to the cart. Abandon them together.

Patch Notes v2.0 | NO BROWSING