NO BROWSING™ eye logo
0 (embarrassing.)

Free shipping, every order. Don’t get used to it.

White t-shirt with the If I Wanted Your Opinion, I'd Lower My Standards. design, front, on model

If I Wanted Your Opinion, I'd Lower My Standards.

Still nodding. Still not listening.

Unsolicited advice arrives daily and most of it is worth what you paid. The cat on the front has a martini, a reading lamp and no follow-up questions. Wear it to the next dinner where someone explains your own job to you.

$25.95

Color

White

Size

Saving is just buying, later. And later never comes, does it.

WHAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY WEARING

Cotton
100% Airlume combed cotton. The soft, smooth kind. Nothing scratchy sawing at you all day. The heathers blend in a little polyester — that flecked look doesn’t happen on its own.
Weight
Light, around 4.2 oz. An everyday tee you forget you’re wearing, not a stiff box with sleeves.
Fit
True to size. Modern unisex cut. Not baggy, not slim, no drama.
Built
Side-seamed so it keeps its shape, pre-shrunk, and a tear-away tag. Nothing itching the back of your neck.
The feel
The design lives in the fabric, not stuck on top of it. Soft the second you put it on, still soft after the tenth wash. No stiff plastic patch cracking and peeling off like the cheap stuff. Yours, and it stays that way.

WHEN IT SHOWS UP (SOONER IF YOU’D COMMIT)

USA
About a week. Two if it’s busy. Quick, for something worth the wait.
Canada
About 1–2 weeks. Made in Canada. No customs, no border fees, nobody knocking for money.
Europe
About 1–2 weeks. Made in the EU, so no customs and no surprise fees.
Everywhere else
About 2–4 weeks. Customs does what customs wants. So do you, apparently, standing here.
Shipping
Free. Everywhere. Don’t make it weird.

Estimates, not promises. The truck answers to no one. Full terms if you’re the reading type: Shipping & delivery.

Also in: Gifts for People Who Hate People

YOU'LL PROBABLY IGNORE THESE TOO.

People who stalled on this stalled on these. Add them to the cart. Abandon them together.