NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT • NO BROWSING • YES, WE ARE OPEN. UNFORTUNATELY. • IT'S A SHIRT. NOT A MORTGAGE. • NOTHING HERE GETS CHEAPER IF YOU WAIT •
TWO SHIRTS
MATCHED BY POOR JUDGMENT™
Fire Safety
One starts it. One ends it.
From$43.95for both$51.90
$7.95 cheaper than buying them separately.
One price. Two shirts. Free shipping, so that number is the number.
Any tax is shown before you pay.
SIZED SEPARATELY.
Pick a color and a size for each shirt. They don't have to match.
HERS
$25.95
I Light Up the Room
Color
Black
Size
Get it right the first time
Don’t guess. Go find a t-shirt you already like the fit of and measure that one.
Size chart: body chest range and garment measurements laid flat, in inches and centimetres
Size
Fits chestinches
Width, flatin / cm
Lengthin / cm
XS
31–34″
16.5″ / 41.9 cm
27″ / 68.6 cm
S
34–37″
18″ / 45.7 cm
28″ / 71.1 cm
M
38–41″
20″ / 50.8 cm
29″ / 73.7 cm
L
42–45″
22″ / 55.9 cm
30″ / 76.2 cm
XL
46–49″
24″ / 61.0 cm
31″ / 78.7 cm
2XL
50–53″
26″ / 66.0 cm
32″ / 81.3 cm
3XL
54–57″
28″ / 71.1 cm
33″ / 83.8 cm
4XL
58–61″
30″ / 76.2 cm
34″ / 86.4 cm
5XL
62–65″
32″ / 81.3 cm
35″ / 88.9 cm
How to measure. Lay a shirt that already fits flat on a table. Armpit to armpit is the width. Highest point of the shoulder straight down to the hem is the length. Compare those two numbers to the table.
Why width looks small. Width is the shirt laid flat, armpit to armpit, so it’s half the way around. A 42″ chest wants a 22″ width, which is an L.
Product measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm).
HIS
$25.95
I Put It Out
Color
Black
Size
Get it right the first time
Don’t guess. Go find a t-shirt you already like the fit of and measure that one.
Size chart: body chest range and garment measurements laid flat, in inches and centimetres
Size
Fits chestinches
Width, flatin / cm
Lengthin / cm
XS
31–34″
16.5″ / 41.9 cm
27″ / 68.6 cm
S
34–37″
18″ / 45.7 cm
28″ / 71.1 cm
M
38–41″
20″ / 50.8 cm
29″ / 73.7 cm
L
42–45″
22″ / 55.9 cm
30″ / 76.2 cm
XL
46–49″
24″ / 61.0 cm
31″ / 78.7 cm
2XL
50–53″
26″ / 66.0 cm
32″ / 81.3 cm
3XL
54–57″
28″ / 71.1 cm
33″ / 83.8 cm
4XL
58–61″
30″ / 76.2 cm
34″ / 86.4 cm
5XL
62–65″
32″ / 81.3 cm
35″ / 88.9 cm
How to measure. Lay a shirt that already fits flat on a table. Armpit to armpit is the width. Highest point of the shoulder straight down to the hem is the length. Compare those two numbers to the table.
Why width looks small. Width is the shirt laid flat, armpit to armpit, so it’s half the way around. A 42″ chest wants a 22″ width, which is an L.
Everyone else ships a couples set in one size and lets you fight about it. Here each shirt gets its own size, and its own color, if that's another thing you don't agree on.
Two shirts, one set: a lit match over I LIGHT UP THE ROOM. on one, a fire extinguisher wrapped in I PUT IT OUT. on the other. Each shirt is sized and colored separately. For the couple where one of you starts the party and the other one quietly ends it.
WHAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY WEARING
Cotton
100% Airlume combed cotton. The soft, smooth kind. Nothing scratchy sawing at you all day. The heathers blend in a little polyester — that flecked look doesn’t happen on its own.
Weight
Light, around 4.2 oz. An everyday tee you forget you’re wearing, not a stiff box with sleeves.
Fit
True to size. Modern unisex cut. Not baggy, not slim, no drama.
Built
Side-seamed so it keeps its shape, pre-shrunk, and a tear-away tag. Nothing itching the back of your neck.
The feel
The design lives in the fabric, not stuck on top of it. Soft the second you put it on, still soft after the tenth wash. No stiff plastic patch cracking and peeling off like the cheap stuff. Yours, and it stays that way.
WHEN IT SHOWS UP (SOONER IF YOU’D COMMIT)
USA
About a week. Two if it’s busy. Quick, for something worth the wait.
Canada
About 1–2 weeks. Made in Canada. No customs, no border fees, nobody knocking for money.
Europe
About 1–2 weeks. Made in the EU, so no customs and no surprise fees.
Everywhere else
About 2–4 weeks. Customs does what customs wants. So do you, apparently, standing here.
Shipping
Free. Everywhere. Don’t make it weird.
Estimates, not promises. The truck answers to no one. Full terms if you’re the reading type: Shipping & delivery.
